Wholesome 8===D

“(Read with a voice that sounds like a black blues player who’s smoked 3 packs a day for 20 years…)

Yeah, what’s up Mother Fuckers!? I’m need to tell yah, to get out there and vote! Today’s the last day in Colorado that you can vote – early. (clears throat)

I also gotta give me a shout out to Tortilla Fact-ory, also known as Tiff-any, also known as -Liz.

Now, friends, my dear friend from the Mad Masteel, he says, instead of a shout out, you should do a movie line reading, you should do this one from Magnolia. Aheh. So, I do the readin’, and I’ll give yah the back ground.

Camera holds in on him, he does a little “Cops” (in quotes, like the show “Cops”) talkin’ to himself. This is Jim Kuring playing the cop from Magnolia.




...alot of people think this is just
a job that you go to.....take a lunch
hour, the jobs over, something like that.
But...it's a 24 hour deal...no two ways
about it....and what most people don't
see: Just How Hard It Is To Do The Right Thing.
(beat)
People think if I make a judgment call
that it's a judgment on them...but
that's not what I do and that's not
what should be done...I have to take
everything and play it as it lays.
Sometimes people need a little help.
Sometimes people need to be forgiven
and sometimes they need to go to jail.
And that's a very tricky thing on my
part...making that call...the law is the
law and heck if I'm gonna break it...but
you can forgive someone....? Well, that's
the tough part....What Do We Forgive?
Tough part of the job.....tough part of
walking down the street...



Now, let me tell yah some things about The Tortilla factory, she goes to the University of Washington. And, I’m pretty sure she gets fucked by this guy named Mike. Uh-whatever. She has a plastic gun. She uh…uh, she’s got blonde hair. Alright. What else do I know. Not much, not much at all. You hold tight, you hold tight on the telephone right now!

Different Narrator: “Hello, today I have a story handed down through the generations—“

Wholesomedick: “—shit.””

masteel