Wholesome 8===D

Believe it or not, I had this whole moral dilemma about what I said about Allison Stokke (the smoking hot 18 year old pole vaulting phenomenon) a few weeks ago. While researching her a little bit, I came across this blog post by Michael David Smith upset about Allison Stokke's interwebs fandom as it is more for her looks that her athletic ability, not to mention that though she's "legal" she is (was?) still in high school.

For those of you wondering, I try to write about things that I think are entertaining and/or interesting — with the occasional "real" post where I'm not "performing." I try to do it (somewhat) tactfully. But, most of what's here is more me being a "social critic"/jackass than it is a representation of "me."

I've always said that if you're not controversial, you don't matter. That's one of the reasons why I like Howard Stern. Howard is clever enough to stay on the air, and in reality is a very good person (everyone who gets to know him says he's a mensch), while being very controversial and doing good radio. So, I was somewhat surprised when I was listening to the May 21st, 2007, Howard Stern Show where an 18 year old girl (Galadriel, also still in high school) who came on the show to ride their in studio Sybian (in exchange for an on-air plug for her older brother's business) and Stern gave it the thumbs down. Not only that, but he chastised her brother for dreaming up the idea, and when the rest of his crew begged Howard to let Galadriel ride the Sybian, or to let her get naked, or to at least let her take her top off — all of which she was willing to do &mdash he still said no.

( Galadriel is no Allison Stokke, but she is cute )

Now, my philosophy with posting the Stokke stuff was 18 is 18 is 18. And to be fair, I wasn't posting leaked naked pictures of her or saying she should be filmed on a Sybian or something like that. But if Howard Stern sees a line at set at 18+ and high school graduation, and I don't... Well, what does it say about me that I'm taking cues on morality from The Howard Stern Show? Smart, maybe? I don't know.

While it might have been cool if Ségolène Royal won the French election, it would have been bad for me — it would have put her further out of my league. Ségolène est un cougar! C'est magnifique!

( Ahh... Ségolène, I pine for thee... )

Of course, she's no spring chicken — but that's kind of the point. I mean, I've never been more aroused by a politican in my life. And, you know, little botox... maybe a face-lift, and she could easily pass for 33.

Speaking of female politicians, Hillary Clinton should hire Ségolène to be her fashion consultant. As much as I've supported Hillary in the past, the more I see her on T.V. the more it seems like she dresses in easter bunny vomit and eats babies. Which is ashame, because I don't think she eats babies.

Now, allow me to take you a little further down my hole of chronophilia, and introduce (to those of you who have met her yet) Allison Stokke.

( THIS GIRL IS ONLY 18 YEARS OLD )

Initally I wanted to call her the new Amanda Wenk, but she's much more than an 18 year old girl with huge boobs who got some racy pictures of her plastered all over the interwebs. Then I thought about calling her the Lindsay Lohan of pole vaulting, but she's not an alcoholic lush, she's an athlete.

Yes, she's really a pole vaulter. Can you believe that? POLE VAULTING?! I don't even want to start with the puns and the double entendres, because... Having a smoking hot girl who's a professional pole vaulter... It's every comedian's wet dream (te-he!). I mean, I can't commit suicide now because I'm too anxious for the jokes about her when she becomes mainstream, and her inevitable spread in Playboy.


Anyway, today this chronophile got up at 11:45am, had some pizza and some generic Easy Mac. Did some chin-ups. Called Senators Allard and Salazar (senkensalazar) about S. 1353, and Representative Perlmutter about H.R. 2060 (The Internet Radio Equality Act — everyone sign-up for info at SaveNetRadio.org). I downloaded, and listened too, the latest episode of the Adam Carolla Show (adamcarollablog). Ran chkdsk. Watched two episodes of Real Time. Wrote this entry, and now it's finally time to start my day.